Understanding
by Kylie-Chan
Summary: Peter has only ever loved one person. His younger brother, Ender. For this reason, Maia hates the third.


A/N: Just got finished reading Ender's Game, and I loooove it.:) I actually starting liking Peter as a character in the second chapter, where he apologizes to Ender when he thinks Ender's asleep. It shows that he is, in fact, capable of loving someone. So, I decided to write this, partially to show my thoughts on what kind of character I think he is. Oh, and before this starts, I just want to let everyone know that I do like Ender as a character too. Anything Erica says about him isn't necessarily what I think about him. That said…

Disclaimer: Ender's Game belongs to Orson Scott Card. In other words, not me.

WARNING: Slight, slight, slight microscopic hints at Peter/Ender slash. Also, somewhat violent, and has some language.

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Everyone said that Peter Wiggin never loved anyone in his whole life. That, however, isn't entirely true. The only person he ever loved was Ender. The little brother whom he terrorized, the little boy he used to torment and threaten, the little third who took what he was so sure he had deserved. The person that he loved more than anything or anyone else.

For that exact reason, I hated Ender Wiggin. I hated that Peter was capable of only loving him, that all Peter truly cared about was him.

Of course, he never came right out and said this. Peter was never overly forward about his emotions. Not even to me. But I could see it, plain as day. The way he talked about him, with the mixed reverence and despair that hid under the hatred. The way his eyes clouded with emotion when he thought about him. The clues were there for those willing to look. Unfortunately, I was the only one who was willing.

I first met Peter at school. He had transferred into my class, and was assigned a seat next to me. He tried to act average, so to speak. He would ask questions with an innocent look in his eyes, work hard, but never too hard. But I saw through his act as soon as he had started. He was intelligent, to say the least. At first, I didn't understand why he tried to dumb himself down. What kid wouldn't use that intelligence to his full and complete advantage? It wasn't until later that I figured it out; he _did_. He just doesn't want to let the teachers know. He wants them to think that he's only as intelligent as the next kid in the class. That's his best strength, perhaps. Hiding things.

I sometimes think that my first conversation was a complete accident; but then I remember that it's Peter, and nothing ever happens on accident around him.

It had started out simple enough. He had asked me what my name was. I told him it was Maia, and of course I asked the question back. He told me his name was Peter, and then he asked me what I thought about the class, and other tedious things like that. It wasn't until after school that he actually talked to me. And let me say that there is a big difference between school Peter and normal Peter. Instead of asking me boring questions like earlier, he talked to me about the bugger war. I was surprised, to say the least. He knew so much about it, it seemed, far more than our teachers did. He also had an interesting view on it all, and that's when I first got a glimpse of Peter's true intelligence.

Of course, I've seen more of it now; a lot of it, actually. But it's never really enough to completely figure him out. I don't think I'll ever do that. But I have figured out quite a bit. His adoration of Ender was something I didn't quite see until later. Not that it wasn't there the whole time. I just hadn't seen it at first. Peter was a very complex person, and I'd pay good money to actually see someone completely figure him out. Even his beloved Ender didn't completely understand him. But I guess love isn't always about understanding.

I loved Peter. I don't know how or when it started, but it did, and when I realized it, I got pissed off. Pissed off because I knew he would never think of me as more than a friend (if he even thought of me as that), pissed off because he could (sort of) confide in me, and never love me, pissed off that the only person he loved was Ender. Pissed off because Ender loved him just as much.

That's another thing. If there was one person harder to understand than Peter, it was Ender. From all the things Peter told me about their childhood, and Peter's constant torture of the boy, I had expected him to hate Peter. But really, he didn't. He loved him; just as much, if not more so than Peter loved him. I think that was when I first started hating Ender. In my mind, Ender was an obstacle, something that blocked whatever path I could've found into Peter's heart. An obstacle I could never, ever beat. I hated obstacles; thus I hated Ender.

I never told Peter this, of course. How could I tell him that I loathed the one he loved? I know that if I did, it was unlikely he'd ever talk to me again. So I stayed silent about it, and let him be happy. Because isn't your loved one's happiness most important, even if they aren't happy with you?

Who am I kidding. I'd much rather that Peter was happy with me. But I'm not blinded by love; only fools and romantics are swept away in romance. I knew that, in a way, Peter and Ender balanced each other out; completed each other. And I knew that I didn't stand a snowballs chance in hell of competing with that. So I just went on with my life, talking to Peter like always. And silently detesting Ender. I'm very good at hiding my emotions; better than either of the Wiggin brothers, even.

I guess that's my best quality. It was definitely the one that saved me. And I begin to wonder if Peter or Ender could ever understand me. Probably not. But then, are we ever really meant to understand anything in life?

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Kinda short, yeah, but I had fun with it. Tell me what you think.


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